I’m finishing up the final draft on A Good Place. Below is a passage from Chapter 1. It describes the Moore family hunkering under their kitchen table during a surprise La. hurricane in August 1862.
Mayo Moore, then twelve years old, relates the story years later. Here’s my question for readers: Is ‘impending’ the best word to use in this passage? I’m thinking along these two lines: a 12 year old country boy telling this story years later circa 1920.
“Daddy, are we gonna blow away?” Colleen asked. I glanced up at our creaking roof, wondering the same thing.
Before he could answer, Momma pulled my sister closer, “Baby, this house was built ‘horse high, bull tough, and pig tight,’ by your daddy and it’ll stand up to anything any storm throws at it.”
Colleen nervously burst out giggling at Momma’s saying, causing us all to laugh in spite of our fear. However, our smiles soon faded as the storm intensified and the rafters lifted and shuddered with every strong gust.
“I feel—I feel so helpless.” Momma said, holding Colleen closer.
Daddy repeated. “We will get through this. Together, we can do it.”
At that moment, I hoped he was right.
Sitting under the table as the wind roared, it was hard to believe this day had started so quietly. Looking back over it, we’d missed several signs—omens of the impending <!–[if !supportAnnotations]–> storm.
Copyright 2009 Creekbank Stories Curt Iles