Calling all Editors! 3/12/11

This is my last time (thankfully) through A Spent Bullet before it begins its journey to publication.  This is your opportunity to help shape and define the book. For the next three days, I’ll be posting questions, passages, and notes.  \

Let’s have fun working together.  Give me your honest input.  If anyone wants a look at the manuscript itself, send me an email or Facebook message.

“Onomatopoeia”*

Passage:

His attention was drawn back to the log by a sickening sound: Krrk. The log gave way, leaving the three soldiers hanging onto the rope. The second loud crack was even more chilling. As Jones grabbed for Sarge, he caused him to lose his grip on the rope. His feet went in the air and the crack was when Sergeant Donovan’s head hit the log.

Onomatopoeia* is writing sounds such as “Krrk.” Do you hear it or does it detract? I need honest feedback on this section of A Spent Bullet. If I use Krrk, I’ll put it in italics.

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