"A Good Place" – Chapter 1 Excerpt


A Good Place



I’m finishing up the final draft on A Good Place. Below is a passage from Chapter 1. It describes the Moore family hunkering under their kitchen table during a surprise La. hurricane in August 1862.


Mayo Moore, then twelve years old, relates the story years later. Here’s my question for readers: Is ‘impending’ the best word to use in this passage? I’m thinking along these two lines: a 12 year old country boy telling this story years later circa 1920.

Actual passage:

“Daddy, are we gonna blow away?” Colleen asked. I glanced up at our creaking roof, wondering the same thing.

Before he could answer, Momma pulled my sister closer, “Baby, this house was built ‘horse high, bull tough, and pig tight,’ by your daddy and it’ll stand up to anything any storm throws at it.”

Colleen nervously burst out giggling at Momma’s saying, causing us all to laugh in spite of our fear. However, our smiles soon faded as the storm intensified and the rafters lifted and shuddered with every strong gust.

“I feel—I feel so helpless.” Momma said, holding Colleen closer.

Daddy repeated. “We will get through this. Together, we can do it.”

At that moment, I hoped he was right.

Sitting under the table as the wind roared, it was hard to believe this day had started so quietly. Looking back over it, we’d missed several signs—omens of the impending <!–[if !supportAnnotations]–> storm.

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 Copyright 2009 Creekbank Stories Curt Iles

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  1. Hey Bro. Curt! I would say that impending isn't the best choice of words here, because the storm is already there. Impending would connotate that it's about to happen….

    Glad to read your writing! God Bless

  2. This is Brian Manuel from Oberlin by the way! Kim and Kadyn send their love!

  3. Curt; As you know Mrs Andrews tryed and Mr. Ellis Try to teach me Good grammer(I never got it),nor can I spell worth a dern,but I think these folks are supposed to be Cajuns or country folk then it should be Commin storm For thats what I would have said

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